So what is actually happening? We are just trying to dismiss the pain of not believing in ourselves by doing something that would prove our environment that we are worthy.
So we deceive ourselves, that we are self-actualizing beings, whereas all we are doing is compensating.
We are creating a safe-glorious bubble of success and achievement and then we do not have to be challenged by anyone by the stupid question of: How are you doing? Are you happy? Not even by ourselves!
Of course we are happy!! Look!! I am in the perfect bubble! No no..Do not look at me, look at my bubble!
The conclusion is that you can't self-actualize while you are driven by a place inside...a sore place that tries to make sure that nobody will ever touch it!
What about starting making it ok, that we do not feel great about who we are or who we are becoming...then we can start being more and more honest and then supportive and then appreciative...
It is not easy....But it is worthy!