She is standing there, in the middle of nowhere, feeling the fresh grass just after the rain.
Observing the birds that can be hardly seen through the flourished branches of the trees, but she loves it when she can see them! It is almost like an achievement for her.
There she is again in the middle of nowhere. There is a strong hope in her heart as the wind blows. It blows and takes her green scarf away.
She is running, now she is running to catch it.
No, no, no she cannot afford to lose it. It is the only thing she has from her mother. Her mother knitted it for her, only for her.
Oh how much she missed her!
How similar she really became with her!
This scarf is now as important as her mother was and is still for her.
She is running, running to catch it with a real agony.
Every morning, Bella, has her own rituality.
Only if you live with her you could know about it.
When she wakes up, she is trying to think what clothes would match with her green scarf.
Sometimes it takes her few seconds in bed while the alarm is still ringing, other times it takes her more time and while she is brushing her teeth she comes up with an idea, but other times it takes her so much time that she is running late for work or she ends up having to cancel an appointment.
At a lucky day when she matches everything in time, she takes tenderly her green scarf, puts some perfume on it and then she puts a red-heart brooch on it.
This feeling, this great feeling of satisfaction and comfort cannot be described when she hears the “click” from the brooch.
This “click” gives her the approval almost for a good day to start.
That’s her again, in the middle of nowhere, running for her green scarf…
How could she stand losing her mother again?
What can a green scarf be in our lives? What can hold so much of our identity and our value that the thought of losing it could make it so precious to us?
For some people could be a job, for others a partner, for others could be money, for others could be anything! Any loss could be unbearable!
But why do we relate our identity and our personal value with external belongings or achievements before we even know what they mean to us? What is this "compensation" strategy that runs the show when we promise to devote our selves at the chase of money, or degrees or women, or cars or sweeties or watches and so on?
What are we trying to prove? And why?
Exactly...We may try to prove nothing, but we do try to avoid an imaginary rejection! We try to make sure that people will be happy with what we are doing and they will like us! Because as children we were rejected, criticized, embarrassed and vulnerable..
We do try to keep things the way they are...by keeping the scarf, the mother is there...with Bella, Bella is not alone...by Maria having a boyfriend things are stable and easy, loneliness will never knock her door, safety will always be there for her. We do not deal with the reality but we are getting confused with the stories in our mind. Because familiarity is always safer than change. Familiarity is predictable, therefore safe...whereas change offers no guarantee!
We invest in those ideas and presumptions as if they were true and then soon we find ourselves disappointed or being left with less than what we need to be satisfied.
These are all the reasons why an economic crisis could end up being an emotional or existential crisis for most people.
But this is not our true nature. In our true nature our centre is within us. It is the voice that if will get empowered will keep reminding us our value no matter what!
Our worthiness no matter what!
Our true nature will be patient with our faults and our losses and it will be kindy supportive to our sufferings.
We have all the resources..within us..
No do not throw all of your "scarfs" away! But appreciate them for what they are..try to be clear what they are compensating for...then you have all the answers you need...
Wish you good luck at your journey!